wow. my site always seems to die. well, here's an update. lets see where it takes us It hurts to want you this much. It’s so painful wondering everyday if we’ll ever be something. Just send me a sign, please, anything. Give me something to believe. If you don’t want me, please show that you don’t care.
And if by some chance you do, don’t just act like I’m not there. I’m aware that you may think I’m just any old girl. I know that you could think I’m just some girl who likes you. It’s in the way you act, it’s in the way you talk. But there’s just something inside of me, something in my heart Something that’s telling me not to give up. Something telling me you care. I hate that you can do this to me. I hate that even when I don’t want you to matter, Even when I don’t think I like you anymore, You somehow crawl your way back into my heart. I’m sitting here, waiting for you. You’re in everything I do. Don’t you know that my heart is on the line? Can’t you tell that I’m not just fine? It’s in the way I walk, it’s in the way I breathe. I’m choosing to wait for you, even as I know I could leave. If I chose to walk away, If I decided not to stay, would you care? Would you beat yourself up that you let me go, Would you wish you would’ve told me no? If I just left and stopped waiting for you, Would you wait for me too? I need a sign, a signal, anything, please. I have to know if I mean a thing to you. Whether it’s just as a friend, Or maybe it’s as more. I need to know if there’s something worth waiting for. And that’s what you do when you care about someone. You fight like hell to make sure you keep them. Even if they aren’t yours, You fight just to know you’re alive. Because you know that without them, You’d have no reason to breathe. You’re everywhere to me. You’re the magic in my late night dreams, You’re the air I breathe, or so it seems. You’re the ink in my pen as I write my thoughts of you, You’re the tears I cry when I don’t know what to do. You’re every memory that is filled of the time we spent, You’re the reason my heart is bent. I have to admit that it’s true, There’s a piece of you in everything I do. I tell myself that if I really cared, I wouldn’t be doubting what I once thought was true. I tell myself that since the butterflies are gone, I don’t care about you any more. But it wasn’t the faith I once had in you that made me love you. It wasn’t the butterflies I got when I saw you. I loved the way you made me feel, I loved the way you made me genuinely happy. You make me laugh in the silliest ways, It seems that you always know just what to say. You make me want to just forget about you, Because you make my heart break too. It’s not all fun and games, Nothing really is ever the same. But that’s what love is, isn’t it? Loving the hatred, Accepting the flaws, And loving it all? 3 am and I’m awake thinking of you. Are you aware of what you do? I’ll stay awake composing pages of love This is what you remind me of. I sit here listening to songs that remind me of you, And it makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t know why I do this to myself, Why must I torture myself with these melodies so real? Maybe it’s just to be aware that someone knows how I feel. How did you manage to get all these people To write a song about you? Because it seems every time I listen to a song, It always reminds me of you. And I could make it easy on myself, And I could just turn off the music. I could pretend it’s that easy and that I did it, But I’d still be singing in my head. She’s not the girl to sit forever. She’s always talking, moving, dancing, talking. She can rarely wait for anything, And gives up on most things if they take too long. But there’s one thing that makes her different. If you mention his name, she’ll stop in her tracks. If she sees him walking by, her dancing comes to an end. And as for waiting? When it comes to that boy, She couldn’t be more patient than she is now. I’m the itch on your back you just cant reach, The little patch of sunburn you got at the beach. I’m the piece of hair that flies all over the place, The little freckle that you don’t want on your face. But with an itch you can have a friend scratch it, You can use sun block to aid the pain. There’s a clip that can hold down your hair, There’s make up to cover things you don’t want there. But you can’t use any of those things on me, you see, I’m always there, and it’s up to you what you’ll do about it. | 
